Balance, Tactics, and the Problem with Pistols

Average semiautomatic pistol, according to DICE

Author's Note: This article will include discussion of both real-world and virtual weapons deployment. If you are unfamiliar with one or the other, I strongly suggest doing some research on your own so that you can have a better understanding of my claims.

I play Battlefield 3. A lot. Like, an awful lot. As in "I give myself insomnia playing this" levels of "a lot." While the game is certainly fun for the most part, there's a certain element that has bothered me since launch, and, curiously, it doesn't seem to bother anyone else. In fact, it doesn't seem to bother anyone in Battlefield 3, it didn't seem to bother anyone in Modern Warfare 2, and it didn't even bother them in Rainbow Six: Vegas. Maybe it's simply because it's such a small part of the actual gameplay, but I feel like I'm the only one who's bothered by this. Whether or not anyone else notices, it's a problem that has gone on for far too long and needs to be addressed. 

The problem? Automatic pistols.

I TROL U: "Trolling," "Entitlement," and the Industry

Recently, there's been a rather interesting trend that I've noticed in the way game developers and publishers treat their customers. Perhaps not so coincidentally, it coincided with the popularization of internet trolling. Now, I'm not going to pretend that trolls haven't always existed, but in the past year or so it has gotten to be a bit excessive, especially with memes and general *chan culture finding its way into the mainstream via sites like Reddit and Facebook. Trolling has changed as well - it used to simply be things like griefing (think "that one guy who stands still in the hallway as your team tries to push through so you all die a horrible death when an enemy eventually notices").

These days, the most common method of trolling appears to be consistent repetition of intentional logical fallacies or insults with no real basis. It's exceptionally stupid (and in my opinion, not even nearly as entertaining), but it's very widespread these days, especially on any site involving video games. In a way, it should be expected - internet culture has been tied to video game culture for a long time - but it has resulted in some unexpected consequences. For every obvious trolling attempt where someone says "this game sucks, needs more ponies," there's a legitimate complaint that rabid fanboys, or worse, the developers themselves, will write off as "attempted trolling." Overzealous forum moderators like Bioware's infamous Stanley Woo eventually see anyone who isn't licking their organization's boots as a troll, regardless of whether or not their complaint had a point or a well structured argument. This ultimately impacts how companies see their customers as well.

Giant Robots for Japan (and why it might just work)

According to Geekosystem (who, admittedly, credits Kotaku, but there's no way in hell I'm linking to that terrible site), two members of Japan's Liberal Democratic Party, Tadamori Oshima and Bunmei Ibuki, plan to discuss the plausibility of building a real, fully operational giant robot. Now, you may recall that the Japanese have previously built a 1:1 scale model of a Gundam, but building a Gundam that is capable of actually moving, nevermind operating in a live-fire combat environment, is a significantly more difficult challenge.

Now, don't get me wrong - I love my 'Mechs. My desk currently has a pair of BattleTech miniatures on it - a Clan Jade Falcon Loki and a Clan Nova Cat Shadow Cat, to be precise - the vast majority of my PS2 games have "Armored Core" in the title, and in high school, any time not spent at the FLGS playing MechWarrior: Dark Age was spent at home playing MechWarrior 4: Mercenaries online. You dig giant robots, I dig giant robots, we dig giant robots, chicks dig giant robots. It's an unavoidable part of being a nerd.

Unfortunately, in real life, giant robots (hereafter referred to as 'Mechs, because I grew up using the BattleTech term) are...well, stupid, especially those that are bipedal. Really stupid, in fact. There's a number of issues with the concept from both engineering and tactical standpoints that make the idea of Atlases serving in the future U.S. Army ridiculous.

Reactor: Online. Sensors: Online. Weapons: Online.

...All Functioning Systems: Nominal.

I suppose there will be time for introductions later (if I decide to do them anyway), but for the moment, I'm just getting everything set up. All you need to know about me is that I'm a young gamer/gun nerd with too much time on his hands and opinions I can't keep to myself.

What am I setting up, you ask?

Well, we'll iron that out over time. If nothing else, it should be a pretty wild ride for those of us who love games and the real-world warfighting technology in them. This is to be a home for the warriors of virtual battlefields; a opinion page for the 21st century digital warfighter.

In the meantime, sit back, relax, and pardon my dust. As they say, I cannot into webpage design. If you'd like to give me a hand, shoot me an e-mail at dwvalkyrieraptor@gmail.com.